For years, I lived by one rule:
The next thing will make me happy.

The next promotion.
The next car.
The next level of income.

Sound familiar?

It’s the kind of mindset that’s celebrated. Hustle culture. Bigger goals. Next-level targets.
We’re taught that progress is everything. That more is always better.

And on paper, I was doing well. I hit the targets. I got the promotions. I upgraded the car.
But internally? I felt stuck. Empty. Exhausted.

The Hidden Cost of Constantly Chasing

Here’s the part no one tells you:
Chasing external success is a game you never win.

Because once you reach the goal, the goalpost moves.

That car you had to have?
Now it’s just the one you drive.

That job you worked your arse off to land?
Now it’s just your title.

We all say things like:
“I’ll be happy when I get X.”
“I’ll feel successful when I achieve Y.”

But what happens when you do?
You smile for a minute. Maybe even a day.
Then it fades.
And suddenly, you’re back to feeling like you’re not there yet.

That’s how I lived for a long time.
Obsessed with the future. Blind to the present.
Focused on what I hadn’t done, instead of what I had.

And it slowly wore me down.

The Book That Changed Everything

Then I read The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan.
One idea hit me like a ton of bricks:

“You’re in the Gap when you measure yourself against where you want to be. You’re in the Gain when you measure yourself against where you were.”

That one line stopped me in my tracks.

Because I realised something important.

I’d been measuring myself against an ideal that kept changing.
Every win was instantly replaced by a bigger target.
Every achievement was shadowed by a sense of “not enough.”

I was living in the Gap.
Every single day.

From the Gap to the Gain

So I tried something radical.
I stopped chasing. And started appreciating.

I began practising gratitude.
Not as a cute morning ritual, but as a mindset.

Instead of asking, “What’s next?”
I asked, “What have I already done?”

Instead of thinking about what I lacked,
I focused on what I had.

I still had goals.
But they no longer defined my happiness.

Suddenly, I wasn’t just on the way to something better.
I was already doing better than I ever gave myself credit for.

That shift (to live in the Gain instead of the Gap) changed everything.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

In our culture, we glorify “the hustle.”

Set big goals. Crush them. Set even bigger ones.
There’s nothing wrong with ambition.
But when ambition turns into a never-ending chase, it becomes toxic.

You start tying your self-worth to things that are always out of reach.
You mistake movement for meaning.
You become so future-focused that you forget how far you’ve already come.

If you’re not careful, you can spend your entire life climbing ladders
Only to realise they were leaning against the wrong wall.

The Truth No One Talks About

Here’s the real kicker.
You don’t need to change everything about your life.
You just need to change how you see it.

That’s the point of The Gap and the Gain.
It’s not about stopping growth.
It’s about celebrating progress.

It’s not about settling.
It’s about shifting perspective.

It’s about asking better questions:

• What have I achieved that I once dreamed about?
• What lessons have I learned from the hard seasons?
• What parts of my life would my younger self be proud of?

What Changed for Me

Since making this mindset shift, here’s what’s changed:

– I still set goals, but I no longer chase happiness through them
– I feel more grounded, more content, and ironically, more driven
– I celebrate progress, not perfection
– I lead from a place of calm, not chaos

And most importantly, I feel successful now. Not someday.

Because I finally realised something powerful.
Success isn’t a destination. It’s the ability to recognise the Gain.

Your Turn

If you’ve been feeling tired, anxious, or like it’s never enough,
Pause.
Reflect.

Are you living in the Gap or the Gain?

What if you started measuring your success based on how far you’ve come, instead of how far you still have to go?

Try this:
Write down three things you’ve achieved in the past 12 months.
Big or small. Doesn’t matter.
Then sit with that list and actually feel the progress.

It’s a simple practice. But it’s a powerful one.

You can’t win if you keep moving the finish line.

So instead of chasing an ever-shifting ideal,
Celebrate the ground you’ve already covered.

Because sometimes the most powerful growth doesn’t come from doing more.
It comes from finally seeing how far you’ve already come.